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With his husband’s full support, Nate Berkus keeps memory of his lost love alive
When Jeremiah Brent married famed interior designer Nate Berkus in 2014, he paid tribute to his husband’s lost love during their vows.
It was a decade earlier that photographer Fernando Bengoechea had been swept out to sea when a tsunami struck Sri Lanka where the couple had been vacationing. Berkus managed to survive the disaster that took more than 30,000 lives but the pain long remained.
‘I didn’t know how to articulate what I needed from a new relationship,’ Berkus says in a new interview with his mentor Oprah Winfrey on an episode of Where Are They Now which airs Sunday.
‘I didn’t know how to articulate how to keep that and honor that, but still move forward without any guilt or any fear.’
Brent, also an interior designer, adds: ‘That’s a part of our love story. There’s no two ways about it. Yes, we’re married this time, but (Fernando is) definitely a part of it. I oddly feel connected to him. I honor that story.’
The couple have a young daughter, Poppy, who Brent says ‘will know who he was. We have pictures of him in the home.’
For that, Berkus is forever grateful.
‘(Jeremiah was) the first person to come into my life and not be threatened or afraid, not afraid to poke the damage and say, “That happened. Let’s talk about it. Let’s figure it out, and how can it be part of our world in a way that’s healthy?” And so it is.’
Comments
(All comments are reviewed before being published, and I review submissions several times per day.)
FAEN says:
You have a good man there Nate.
K. Martinez says:
What a wonderful and supportive husband Jeremiah Brent is. That is what real love is. Nice positive story. Thanks, Greg.
Lexxvs says:
Obviously this is my subjective opinion (as that form anyone’s who is from outside of the relationship) but I suspect that even if it is all nice and dandy right now, somewhere in the future this could come along as problematic, big time. IMHO you can not marry your husband AND the ghost of the former partner of his, and if you do, chances are that the deeply idealized (and gone and therefore hard to modify) image of the ex will come over and over again and it will be impossible to compete with. Usually in any relationship normal problems arise and new “love contracts” have to be established if you want it to last. And an idealized ex lover is a hard hurdle to avoid. Maybe this guy Jeremiah right now is willing to accept the it and says he feels connected with his husband’s ex (because that is how he knew Nate, with all this burden), but unless this is worked out in a very mature way and it evolved for the better, this can be quite an issue. Again and IMHO, it is not a good sign that you start a marriage feeling the need to give a gone ex one place in the ceremony, there are other ways and places and times to do so.
FAEN says:
@Lexx-Interesting point.