Who the heck needs Lindsay Lohan at a party for her new movie when you’ve got Sarah Silverman?

This is Out.com’s account of the party for Lindsay Lohan’s movie The Canyons.

Lohan didn’t show up.

But Sarah Silverman did and writer Matthew Breen’s telling of his time with her is just so wonderfully fun.

It reminded of the time I was part of the scrum chatting with her a few summers ago during a TV convention and the tape on my recorder ran out and made a loud click. She could not believe I wasn’t using a digital recorder: “Where did you get that from? A TIME MACHINE?”

The girl is a riot as you will see in this part of Matthew’s piece:

Dressed in black sweater and dark jeans, (Sarah Silverman) was animatedly zipping through the crowd. I stopped her to get a quote. “Is this a gay film?” she asked. Well, with (Bret Easton) Ellis and Lohan, I replied. Had she ever been to an outdoor premiere? “I live right around the corner so my girlfriend and I came over—”

She abruptly paused and tilted an ear up to the grating techo beat coming through the speakers. “I need to get to the DJ, this music is assaulting me. And I feel like it’s bad for people. You can come with me if you want.” She raced to the audio system set up near the back of the screening area. I followed.

“Ever hear of Carole King? Something soothing?” she asked the DJ who was a little dazed by her approach. “I know I’m being a bully and I’m not cool, but who listens to this? This is stuff you torture Germans with. I’m turning into my mother, but I feel like together couldn’t we find a common ground that would give this party a vibe like ‘love,’ and ‘we’re all molecules,’ and not like, ‘I’m going to pull your teeth our with pliers’?” She and the DJ negotiated and Silverman climbed behind the audio boards to consult.

A few minutes later she was satisfied with the negotiations. Had Silverman ever worked with Lohan, would she? “Depends on the project. We lived in the same building, I’m rooting for her. She’s talented.” Soon Mumford and Sons, or something similar, was coming from the speakers. “This is from my phone!” Silverman said of the new music. “Don’t you feel like you can breathe now?”