Many doors have opened in gay people’s fight for equality. Civil rights, marriage rights, and depictions of us individually and collectively on television. Great strides have taken us from tolerance into acceptance and towards true equality.

Stereotypes still exist. They probably always will. And while the truth is usually somewhere in the middle, stereotypes polarize us. No news there. But while an explanation of a stereotype can make good, logical sense, it still leaves the stereotype intact.

I’m glad to have played gay characters, but at the same time have been frustrated by the stereotypes I feel I’ve been party to in playing those roles. I’ve begged wardrobe designers so I wouldn’t have to wear paisley shirts, directors to reconsider a “snap” at the end of a scene, and writers to remove “Hey, gurl!” from dialogue.

I did it because when I was growing up, trying to figure out where I fit it in, I couldn’t seem to locate a role model. The stereotypes I saw made me think, “Well, I don’t identify with that so I must not be gay.”

I can appreciate that one man’s roadblock may be another man’s role model. I feel like my growth was stunted, but understand that another person’s may have been bolstered. I believe that, as a community we want to make the path easier for those who come after us. I want that. I’m certain you do to.

Some audience members can laugh through a character, but it can also distance others. We each come to the fight with our own baggage…as well as our own weaponry. “Revolutionary times call for revolutionary means.” My comments were extreme, and my use of the word “blackface” inexcusable. I regret creating dissension among the ranks, especially when we’re all in this fight together.

I see your point. I hope you’ll consider mine.

Sincerely,
Tuc

Comments

(All comments are reviewed before being published, and I review submissions several times per day.)

10 Remarks

1. December 22nd, 2014 at 12:19 pm
   Really, Greg? says:

   You took a private FB post of Tuc’s and put it on your website. I hope he’s removed you from his ‘Friends’ as you knew exactly what that would do when you posted it. And it was a breach of trust.

2. December 22nd, 2014 at 3:38 pm
   JerryP says:

   I tend to agree with most of what Tuc has expressed in his comments. Personally I like Modern Family but I don’t identify specifically with either of the two gay characters one of who is actually straight and playing a role which has been created for him to play. Not sure if you were trying to create some type of conflict among the gay community by posting Tuc’s remarks but unfortunately you have succeeded.

3. December 22nd, 2014 at 4:22 pm
   Greg Hernandez says:

   Private FB post? I see social media posts by public people as fair game. Tuc is an actor I have admired and championed for years and when I saw his posting I thought it was interesting and shared it on the blog – something I routinely do with people I follow on Facebook who are in the public eye. I would not share a private message or something said to me in confidence that was clearly off the record.

   As for creating a conflict within the gay community, you don’t need me to do that. People – gay or straight – have different views. I think, in their open letters to each other, both Tuc and Jesse have expressed themselves well and made their feelings known.

   I appreciate their feedback.

4. December 22nd, 2014 at 7:07 pm
   K. Martinez says:

   Greg didn’t do anything wrong here. Social media posts are definitely fair game. I know that anything I post online can be used elsewhere else and it has. It’s the nature of the online world. As for conflict within the gay community, it’s always been there just like in the straight world. There’s nothing wrong with disagreement. It’s a part of life. Sometimes conflict can get people to think about their own long held views and rethink them.

5. December 22nd, 2014 at 7:48 pm
   steve h says:

   I agree with Tuc. Even in the gay world we are all different. This was a personal message and violation of trust.

6. December 22nd, 2014 at 7:49 pm
   Richard V says:

   I’m seeing Tuc’s view only because I’ve thought the same thing. I’ve only got this to say… Tuc, what you have wrote is really well written, makes me think you should / could be a writer. I’ve a feeling you have a trove of thoughts to share and I would love to read and hear them. Love your writing man.

7. December 22nd, 2014 at 9:55 pm
   Bruce Wayne says:

   As The Monkees sang, “I’m a little bit wrong, you’re a little bit right.” I can see both sides of the argument, but tend to agree with Tuc on the characterizations on Modern Family, while still enjoying the show.
   Besides….Tuc is just Too Gorgeous to be Wrong! 🙂

   ^^X^^

8. December 23rd, 2014 at 3:47 am
   David says:

   uh, I thought it was “a little bit me, a little bit you”, Bruce!

9. December 23rd, 2014 at 7:29 am
   Del Shores says:

   Greg – Well, I say good job, my friend. You opened some very important dialogue which will continue! I happen to love the characters on Modern Family as well as Tuc Watkins. I think a healthy, respectful debate was generated by Tuc expressing his feelings, you reporting the post (which by the way ‘Really Greg’ Tuc is a public figure and I’m pretty sure he intended his feelings to be shared, so Greg did NOTHING wrong), then Jesse responding and Tuc apologizing for the blackface comment, while further sharing his valid opinion and feelings which generated his FB post. Today, Tuc is taping my show THE DEL AND EMERSON SHOW (ubnradio.com/delandemersonshow) and we will continue dialogue about this. When I wrote and produced Queer As Folk, trust me, we got much of the gay community upset over characters and stories. So, the dialogue continues and thankfully we are at a place where Equality is marching forward and we have many gay characters being created and watched by millions!

10. December 23rd, 2014 at 6:27 pm
    JohnMichael says:

    Hey Greg —

    I love your work and completely agree that if something is out there that was said by a celebrity…and it is newsworthy…then report on it.

    My only question … is this Tuc’s public FB fan page? Or the page for his friends and acquaintances? I ask because his original comment itself was listed/labeled to be viewed by only his friends…not by the public.

    Should this be a topic of conversation that will help further unite the LGBT community? Absolutely. Del is completely right about a healthy, respectful debate.

    I just wonder where we draw the line when our FB friends start becoming “a source close to the celebrity”. Isn’t that what the privacy filters are for…filtering the conversation to a specific audience? Is writing/publishing an article to be read by millions the same as sharing the status between FB friends? I’m not sure if there is a right or wrong answer. I honestly want to know.

    I just think maybe if you had seen “shared with Tuc’s friends” icon attached to he status…you might have gone directly to Tuc first before writing the article. Maybe you did…to which I say kudos.