Tom Ford to The Advocate: “If you said name 10 things that define me, being gay wouldn’t make the list”

The new Advocate cover story on designer-turned-director Tom Ford starts this way: “I don’t think of myself as gay. That doesn’t mean that I’m not gay. I just don’t define myself by my sexuality.”

My eyes rolled a little at what seems, on the surface, to be a ridiculous statement coming from one of the most famous gay men on Earth.

His acclaimed directorial debut is about a man (Colin Firth) grieving over the loss of his lover and yet, Ford tells the article’s author Kevin Sessums: “The gay aspect of A Single Man certainly wasn’t what drew me to make a film of the Christopher Isherwood book. It was its human aspect, that unifying quality. … If you said name 10 things that define me, being gay wouldn’t make the list. I think Isherwood was like that too. There are many gay characters in his works because his work is so autobiographical, but their gayness isn’t the focus. The one thing I liked about Isherwood’s work—especially when I was younger and grappling with my sexuality—is that there was no issue about it in his writing.

“Quite honestly, I just don’t think about my sexuality,” he adds. “But maybe this has to do with being a part of the first generation to benefit from all the struggles of the gay men and lesbians that came before us.”

Well, clearly the struggle continues which is clear when Ford discusses whether or not he would marry his longtime partner, fashion journalist Richard Buckley.

“Yes, when it becomes a federal law. Right now it doesn’t do any good in the states. A few weeks ago Richard had to go into the hospital for something, and I had to carry around all these legal documents saying I could make medical decisions for him. It was insane. The fact that we are not married in the federal sense means that if I were to die, he’d have to pay all these taxes on my estate and receive but a fraction of it and he’d have to alter his life —whereas if we were married, he wouldn’t have to face that burden. That’s disgusting. It’s wrong. But that said, I think I am in favor of terming what I’m talking about as a civil partnership. We all get so caught up with this word marriage. For me, the word marriage is something that a religion should decide. Just give me all the same rights. A civil partnership is what I’d like for everyone—heterosexual as well as homosexual. Call it what you like—it’s the rights that are important. Getting hung up with the semantics derails the cause we’re all fighting for.”

Not even in the top 10 huh? Yeah, right.

Besides those remarks, the article is a good read and Ford is very candid about his bouts with depression, how much he loaths Yves Saint Laurent and some juicy stories like giving his first boyfriend a blow job in the back of a NYC taxi cab!

Go to Advocate.com to read the entire piece.