Revisiting my story on National Coming Out Day

It’s National Coming Out Day! Of course I have some thoughts (and photos).

It is interesting to look back on the chapters of your life when you were keeping this secret that terrified you and you thought would destroy you. Then it remains a secret but it becomes kind of exciting too because, well, puberty.

Then comes college and girlfriends and cute roommates and a determination to be “normal.” Post-college you try and keep up appearances but after a scary depression sets in, you are forced to accept yourself.

But still, you vow to remain “private” in a workplace of naturally nosy people and an exhausting compartmentalization begins.

Panic attacks start to become more frequent. Then it’s rubber meets the road time when, to preserve your mental health, you have to integrate and present to everyone (family, friends, colleagues) who you really are and let them love you or leave you and are prepared to accept either. Not easy.

But then life really begins – on your terms. That’s essentially how it unfolded for me and I can say that coming out publicly more than 20 years ago (after a decade of only sharing with the trusted inner-circle), was absolutely the best and most important thing I ever did in my life. I hope that if you have an LGBT person in your life, you take interest in their journey. Don’t be that person who “loves” them but never asks a single question after they take the courageous step of coming out to you. They will appreciate it! #ComingOutDay