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View this post on Instagram 1-13-19. thinking. philosophizing. four years free from alcohol, today. i used to numb the pain before i knew to heal. when i look back on it now, i can honestly say that sobriety is what birthed my queerness, as i understand it today. life was too short, and suddenly, i had no fucks left to give. i needed to be myself. and, more important, i needed to find myself, figure out who that person was, because the ways i’d been halfway hiding had almost killed me. if i wasn’t taught to hate this part of my identity and expression by the world, would i have really tried to kill it? would i really have ever tried to drown myself, escape from it all? would i ever have allowed the spirits to take over? i’m not blaming anyone but myself, but imagine for a second what this world would look like if we didn’t teach our children to hate themselves for being different? that’s where hating other people comes into play. if you can’t hate yourself, how the hell are you going to hate anyone else? today i choose love in all forms. if you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, seek the help it deserves. it doesn’t just get better. you get better. you get stronger. you get braver. the world can feel like a dark place sometimes. it may not always seem like life can get better, but you get better, if you want it. happy birthday baby, i love you so much. and i love y’all. #allofitisyou A post shared by nicotortorella (@nicotortorella) on Jan 13, 2019 at 11:24am PST
1-13-19. thinking. philosophizing. four years free from alcohol, today. i used to numb the pain before i knew to heal. when i look back on it now, i can honestly say that sobriety is what birthed my queerness, as i understand it today. life was too short, and suddenly, i had no fucks left to give. i needed to be myself. and, more important, i needed to find myself, figure out who that person was, because the ways i’d been halfway hiding had almost killed me. if i wasn’t taught to hate this part of my identity and expression by the world, would i have really tried to kill it? would i really have ever tried to drown myself, escape from it all? would i ever have allowed the spirits to take over? i’m not blaming anyone but myself, but imagine for a second what this world would look like if we didn’t teach our children to hate themselves for being different? that’s where hating other people comes into play. if you can’t hate yourself, how the hell are you going to hate anyone else? today i choose love in all forms. if you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, seek the help it deserves. it doesn’t just get better. you get better. you get stronger. you get braver. the world can feel like a dark place sometimes. it may not always seem like life can get better, but you get better, if you want it. happy birthday baby, i love you so much. and i love y’all. #allofitisyou
A post shared by nicotortorella (@nicotortorella) on Jan 13, 2019 at 11:24am PST
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