Greg in the Afternoon: It seems everyone is writing a book; Farrah Fawcett’s medical condition updated

I’m working out of the cafe inside of the Barnes & Noble at The Grove today where there are 20 tables, great lighting, and ONE plug-in. Good thing my battery is nice and charged up!

There’s a coupla kids in here, can’t be more than 11 or 12, and one of them is eating a piece of quiche, drinking some kind of designer iced coffee drink and using his iPhone as his buddy looks on. I’m thinking back to when I was that age. I was probably at the McDonalds, having fries and a coke, and waiting for my parents to pick me and my friend up after we called them from a telephone booth!

God, I’m old.

Anyway, as I walked in, I noticed all the new autobiographies on the shelves. Cloris Leachman, who I am sure has A LOT of juicy stories to tell after 83 years of life, five children, an Oscar and nine Emmys, will be here tomorrow to sign Cloris: My Autobiography and will do a Q & A. I think I’ll show up for that.

Michael J. Fox also has a new book that looks interesting and inspiring called Always Looking Up and Mary Tyler Moore has written a memoir, Growing Up Again, about living with juvenile diabetes. There’s also a new book, Might as Well Laugh About it Now by Marie Osmond who I used to love but have grown tired of with all that maniacal laughing after she says something she thinks is funny. I don’t need to read something like “I’m divorced and skinny! Here’s my life lessons!” Then there are the dueling Spelling women memoirs:  Tori’s Mommywood vs. Candy’s Stories from Candyland.

But here the book that is beyond the pale: Miley Cyrus, who practically givs me seizures she annoys me so much,. has penned Miles to Go. Gee,. I’m sure it’s riveting! I don’t mean to be a bitch, but if you want to read a real celebrity memoir, Robert Wagner’s Pieces of My Heart is terrific, Lauren Bacall’s By Myself and Jane Fonda’s My Life So Far are two of the very best of the genre, and the best autobiography I have ever read was Katherine Graham’s Pulitzer Prize winning Personal History. I’d advise Miley to wait another 30-40 years to write her book, but I doubt anyone would care anymore.

Okay, that was bitchy. Sorry Miley. (and Marie).

FARRAH REMAINS HOPEFUL: After yesterday’s frightening news reports that Farrah Fawcett -who has been battling cancer for more than two years – was in the hospital, the worst was feared. But today, her doctor and a producer/spokesman are talking. While things are serious, they are not hopeless. The anal cancer she was diagnosed with in 2006 has spread to her liver, according to the Associated Press.

In separate phone interviews with The AP, Fawcett’s producer and her doctor said that the actress is in a Los Angeles hospital, recovering from complications from a medical procedure in Germany, and is “not on death’s door,” as the producer put it.

“She had a minor procedure. That procedure led to a small amount of bleeding into a muscle in her abdominal wall,” which created a hematoma _ a sac of blood that caused pressure and pain, said her Los Angeles cancer specialist, Dr. Lawrence Piro. It was “a simple procedure” and a standard one, although Fawcett has also pursued experimental treatments in Germany, he added.

“She’s on the mend and will be going home very shortly,” said her producer, Craig Nevius. “She’s doing fantastic. Her fight goes on. … She’s not going anywhere anytime soon.”

I sure hope not.

WHOOPI ON PATRICK SWAYZE’S HEALTH: Whoopi Goldberg, currently moderator on ABC’s The View, says her Ghost costar Patrick Swayze, is in “good spirits.”

“He’s doing what everybody else is doing. He’s taking it one day at a time,” Goldberg, who won an Oscar for her role in Ghost, said during an interview on Britain’s GMTV. “He does not have an expiration date on his backside, you know, none of us do. We just know at some point it’s going to happen. That’s how he’s looking at it.”

Swayze, whose films also include Dirty Dancing, To Wong Foo, and Road House, has been battling pancreatic cancer for more than a year.

Says Whoopi: “You know, he’s got a new TV show going. You know, he’s walking forward. So he’s in good spirits. He’s thin, but he’s in good spirits.”