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Dustin Lance Black at Lifeworks event: “It took a turn of luck to discover I had someone I could look up to, and a turn of luck to save my life.”
Dustin Lance Black has done so much good with his fame since winning the Academy Award in February for the screenplay he wrote for Milk .Because he has won the admiration of so many people, there was a feeling of protectiveness toward Lance when he showed up at the Sunset Gower Studios lot in Hollywood Saturday to be honored by Lifeworks Mentoring, a group which offers one on one, peer and group mentoring opportunities for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth ages 14-24.
Lance accepted his award before a stellar crowd that included Milk producer Dan Jinks, Olympic Gold Medalist Greg Louganis, activist Judy Shepard, actress Donna Mills and actors John Wesley Shipp, Peter Paige and Doug Spearman, among others.
His appearance came just a day after photos of him and an ex-boyfriend having unprotected sex were posted on the Internet and led to Lance issuing a statement late Friday saying he wanted to emphasize the importance of responsible sexual practices.
There was no mention of the photos at Saturday’s event by Lance. He was introduced by Jinks (pictured with Lance and Lifeworks Executive Director Michael Ferrera) who said of his friend:
“Not only did he win the Academy Award, but he gave what I think was the best Oscar speech anybody has ever given. And most people, after winning an Oscar and giving a spectacular speech would sit back and collect the money and coast on their laurels. But Lance, for the last several months, has traveled around this country speaking to gays and lesbians and to others about causes that are important to all of us and has proven to be an essential leader in our community. I’m so proud to call him my friend.”
Lance took the stage and confessed that he really wasn’t very good at keeping his speeches short.
Here is most of it:
“Like many LGBT people, I knew I was gay from a very young age so that also meant that I knew that I was less than most kids, meant that something was supposedly wrong with me,” he began. “It meant that I was a second class citizen and that according to my church, I was right down there with all the sinners and the murderers and the rapists – all 3 foot, 4 inches of me at 6 years old. And I had two options: I could shrink away, I could try not to be noticed, not to excel, and to vanish in school and in all my activities. Or, the more permanent solution which was to take my own life. And sadly, that’s not a unique ciurcumstance in our country today. Even today, one in three kids seriously contemplates suicide and gay and lesbian kids are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight brothers and sisters and nine times more likely if they come from non-accepting homes. … For those who do come out, those who do have the bravery and do survive, 26 percent – over one-quarter – are kicked out of their homes.”
But Lance talked about how he was one of the lucky ones who heard the story of Harvey Milk from a theater director when he was just 14 years old.
“Not surprisingly, that story gave me hope,” he said. “And I didn’t want to kill myself anymore and I didn’t want to cry myself to sleep anymore. In fact, I started to dream again and I stopped trying to vanish and I started trying to excel.”
“But you know what? Like probably all of us I never heard a peep about Harvey Milk in school. I fact, I never heard a peep about any LGBT person of any consequence growing up much less having the good fortune of having a mentor or someone to turn to. It took a turn of luck for me to learn that I had a forefather, a turn of luck to discover I had someone I could look up to, and a turn of luck to save my life. And that, my brothers and sisters, that is wrong.”
“Unlike any other minorities, most LGBT kids do not come from families with gay and lesbian parents. That’s just how it is. We don’t have parents who can personally understand the inspiration, pride and steely self-worth needed to survive as a sexual minority today. We as an LGBT people are unique in that we must learn about and be inspired by our minority role models outside of our homes. That is why it is so vitally important to reach our young LGBT people today. [To] know that they have role models, that they have access to mentors and strong parental figures who they can find safety in, who they can celebrate with when the times are good and depend on when the road gets rough. We can no longer leave the future of the lives of our youth to luck, they are too valuable. Their hopes and their dreams are too precious. They are our sons and our daughters – every one of them. And it is our moral obligation to be there to catch them when they fall and to lift them up.”
Comments
(All comments are reviewed before being published, and I review submissions several times per day.)
Jen says:
I am so touched by Dustin Lance Black as a person and as a truly creative talent. As a straight woman, I find his articulation of the GLBT minority experience touching, eye-opening and transformative. Dustin, thank you for sharing your words and your heart with us. The whole world benefits.
Terri says:
He fuc%en rocks!
Robb says:
He is such an inspiration… and I love how he handled the controversy over those pictures of him that leaked on the internet… he is truly a positive role model for LGBTQIA youth.
Jacob says:
Words to live by. I think it’s great that Dustin is using his celebrity to reach out to and inspire kids to not only not be ashamed of their sexuality or that of their neighbors, but to embrace it. Imagine that.
I could care less about this most recent scandal. No one knows what transpired between his ex-boyfriend and he. For all we know, they could have been in a long-lasting monogamous relationship. What he’s advocating is safe-sex among casual partners.
I’m especially annoyed that self-appointed spokespeople for our community have decided to perpetuate these stories and pictures. People make mistakes. He should be celebrated for his contributions and these words, not vilified for some past mistakes. God knows the Gay community could use some positive role models.
Karen says:
Wonderful. Absolutely Wonderful words.
Roxanne says:
Dustin Lance Black is an inspiration and makes me (a straight woman with a gay son) want to find a way to be involved and be an advocate for the LGBT community. Thanks for speaking up!!!!!!
Lynn says:
HES SOO FRICKENN HOTT !
gerardo says:
we needed this man in this time , in this moments.
thank god i lived long enough to see the likes of him speack to all of us. sir, you rock…..
Em says:
I’m straight but i think he really is a glimmer of hope in todays society.
Everybody should be equal and it really does make me sad that we aren’t.
Everybody is different.
Dani Grrl says:
Harvey Milk was my hero and now as a mother of two small children, it thrills me that they and their friends will have such an incredible individual to look up to. I cannot wait to see what he does next.
Sarah says:
He is so inspiring. The most memorable moment during the Oscars in my opinion was him giving his speech. Hopefully anti-gay people listened to that speech with an open heart and mind.
Autumn says:
You give me hope for me and my children. 🙂
Scott says:
In “Into the Woods,” Sondheim wrote the lyric:
Careful the things you say,
Children will listen.
Careful the things you do,
Children will see and learn.
Blessedly, with young men like Dustin, our children will have something to hear and to learn which will help them become the joyous souls they are meant to be.
Sharon says:
This man sets a HORRIBLE example, he’s been posted everywhere getting done BAREBACK and he looks drugged. He’s a horrible example for the young gay youth, he promotes go get a steroid body, get done raw/bareback by a big penis and don’t have a care in the world.
So sick of Gay men like Wil lemay, Shemar Moore, Wentworth Miller, Puff Daddy, Perez Hilton, Those gay Gossip Boys etc. boys just hiding in the closet, and posing as straight men, basically LIES, and then you find out they GAY, HOMO, BAREBACKING. Horrible.
Monika says:
Dustin, I really admire you, your attitude, your wisdom, your example… Keep up the good work. This world needs more people like you to make it a better place.
Gary says:
Bravo Lance! Congrats!
You are Truly an inspiration!
I hope you are at a Good Place in your life as you are helping So many of our Gay youth.
I wish you All the Best!
Gary
Barb Clark-Elliott says:
If anyone – straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, questioning. gender fluid, etc., etc. – wants to get involved to help families become accepting and supportive, thus stay together, go to PFLAG.org and see where a PFLAG Chapter is near you. That’s what we are all about and have been for over 30 years. Happy PRIDE Month! Barb
DouginChgo says:
He actually goes by the name Lance, not Dustin. That’s why he uses the full three names: Dustin Lance Black. Please learn this and call him by his preferred name: Lance.
FC says:
Dear Sharon,
Let us not forget that he did not choose to have those obviously intimate pictures splashed across the internet. Furthermore, consider that those who have seen them, including yourself, CHOSE to view them so please stop with the finger pointing and irrelevant lecture on setting negative examples. Public figures that have been victimized in this manner(yes, victimized) have been so because individuals such as yourself will click on that link leading you to the images you obviously desire to view. just because CONSENTING adults photograph themselves during what should be a private act, its wrong to justify their publication by saying they shouldnt have done it to begin with.
Stressing what he does in the sanctity of his bedrooom, takes away from the countless hours of activism he’s poured into the LGBTQ movement. How easily some judge him on this instance and totally disregard the numerous young lives he’s probably helped save. I am proud of him, and believe he has handled the ordeal in a manner in which youth can continue to look to him as a postive role-model.
Best of luck Lance,
with love and much deserved respect,
FC
Lola Lopsa says:
@Sharon : how could you be so judgemental regarding Lance ?
I’ve been for 7 years with my partenair and thanks GOD we do not use comdoms anymore. You know, we did the test…
Moreover Sharon, what do you do for the LGTB community ?
chris =) says:
the best speech ever, as a young gay man (20) i can say that’s exactly how i feel..
Even though I haven’t seen milk because i do not support Sean Penn, i do believe in Lance and believe in his work. He’s such a talented person i feel honored to call him an equal..
I would like to see Milk, but i won’t do it. I live in Venezuela, a very problematic country and is beacause of that I cannot watch a movie involving such a horrible person like Sean Penn..
Beast Wishes To Lance
From Vzla
chris =) says:
BTW! I think have protected sex i CRUCIAL.. But i support the fact the if you have a partner and love him, and both are ready to take the relationship to the next level, the best think you can do is (sorry for my english), the best thing that you can do is a test of blood To verify both partners have excellent health and no sexually transmitted diseases..
As a gay i think the best way to protect yourself from getting a diseasse is having no sex at all, unless is with your other half, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend or whatever you like to name it.
Candy Ass (Hollywood) says:
Dustin is a brilliant Gay Human Rights Leader!
Thank God Almighty, that Dustin is using his “Gay Fame” to keep
the youth as hopeful as humanly possible, with his serving the LBGT communities in our country.
Dustin will lead us with the fate of all problems in the Gay Community. It is his integrity and LOVE for
his fellow Gay bro’s and sistah’s that will bring compassion and understanding to even the
“bare backing” issues that each and everyone of us go through everytime we have a sexual encounter.
GAY WRITE ON DUSTIN LANCE BLACK !!!!!!!!
BEST GAYEST REGARDS,
Candy Ass (Hollywood)
emma says:
he is so awesome his an incrediable guy n what he is doing for the LGBT community is brilliant……n his hot
Green Giant says:
just out of curiosity a pertinent point. granted barebacking is not the
way to go with a total stranger but since he was in a tested monogamous
relationship with his boyfriend why should he get any flack at all for
doing it sans latex? i’m betting many gay guys in tested short term or
long term monogamous relationships have anal sex au natural. i wish he had had more of a backbone and didn’t kiss the ass of the gay “powers that be” by being politically correct or in this case medically correct
to save face.
Peter says:
Dustin Lance Black is a talented young screenwriter, but it is more important that he is a great communicator and that he champions issues important to the LGBT community. It is my hope that the notoriety from the published photos only serve to raise his name recognition, and to strengthen his resolve to give back to the community. With his talents, and healthy choices going forward, he can be a very important leader for the LGBT community.
Joe says:
OK, so he’s hot and so wronged by the swine Perez Hilton. As a middle-age gay man, I am ashamed of the (over)reaction by the LGBT community to the exposure of his sex tape. If no sex tape was made, nothing like this would have happened in the first place. Who knows, the release of this sex tape could be premeditated by certain parties to promote the upcoming feature film, directed by Gus Van Sant, for which he penned the screenplay– like the “injurious” exposures of sex tapes by Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, Kim whatever, and so on… This would only happen the most in this country, and the (over)reaction by the LGBT community can only be specific of this country. By the way, learn how to write and how to spell before leaving a word on the web– YOU are also causing GREAT SHAME to the LGBT community and yourselves…