“Desperate Housewives” twist: Andrew Van de Kamp returns to Wisteria Lane – engaged to a woman

Bringing back Shawn Pyfrom for the final episodes of Desperate Housewives but that in no way makes up for his absence for big chunks of the last 3-4 seasons.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that you’re very different from all the other dates Andrew has brought home,” a shocked Bree says to Marybeth.

Poor Marybeth. She had recently lost $00 pounds and met Andrew on her way out of an Overeaters Anonymous as he was leaving his Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

What a pair.

Bree demands an explanation from her son and he says: “Remember how you always said being gay was just a phase and I always just needed to meet the right girl? Well, you were right. Be happy for me.”

Bree, who when Andrew came out to her said, “I’d love you even if you were a murderer,” thankfully has evolved.

“Homosexuality is not a choice,” she tells Andrew. “You were born this way. It took me a long time to accept it. … Honey, you’re here, you’re queer and I’m used to it.”

Determined to break things up and let Marybeth know what she’s getting into, Bree invites all of Andrew’s gay friends over for a surpise engagement party. They are all a very extreme stereotype which Andrew is not.

Anyway, Marybeth knows all about it telling Bree: “I know Andrew is gay. We’ve never actually made love and he has a picture of Michael Phelps next to his bed. … He’s sweet fun and I just thought I could do a lot worse.”

So what is in it for Andrew?

Marybeth’s money.

Andrew took a loss on his house, he lost his job and can’t find another one and has loads of credit card debt.

“That marriage really could have helped me out,” Andrew tells Bree.

Well, hopefully we’ll see more of Andrew in the last three episodes and, hopefully, he will have a little more common sense!