Colton Haynes details spiraling into addiction, losing a movie role, and suffering alcoholism-induced seizures

Colton Haynes posted on Instagram earlier today that is is “extremely humbled to be on the 25th Anniversary cover of @attitudemag. Have to admit I was really nervous to open up about my struggles in the past. I hope those who are also struggling know that they aren’t alone & there’s nothing wrong with seeking help.”

Open up he did.

After he came out in 2016, he began drinking heavier then things got worse in 2018 with his marriage and subsequent divorce. Then Colton had to deal with his mother’s death:

“I came out and, in a way, my downward spiral started… I felt extremely free but at the same time the amount of attention I was getting was making me spin out of control… I got married and that didn’t work out. That was extremely public and heart-breaking, and right when that was going on, my mom died. At that point I fell apart. My brain broke. I was doing a massive comedy for a studio, showed up to work and got fired on the first day. They said I looked as if I had ‘dead in my eyes’, and I did. I got so heavily involved with drugs and alcohol to mask the amount of pain I was feeling that I couldn’t even make some decisions for myself. I was drowning in my own shit.”

“Once I went to treatment, I found this amazing amount of true love for myself, and started figuring out who I am without those vices, and recognizing the people in my life who lifted me up instead of tearing me down… I’m always going to be in recovery. There are so many people struggling out there, but not a lot of them talk about it. Life is much more beautiful than I could have imagined… It’s just a different life now. It’s the best gift I’ve ever been given.”