Bruce Jenner reveals more in emotional “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” special

This week’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians got very real as Bruce Jenner’s decision to go public about his female gender identity took center stage.

Daughters Kendall and Kylie Jenner, stepdaughters Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian and ex-wife Kris Jenner expressed support for Jenner’s transition but called him out for his secrecy.

The family was stunned to learn about cosmetic procedures he had done and discovered Jenner was further along in his transition to female than any of them knew.

‘I’ve had secrets my whole life,’ Jenner said in the two-part episode titled About Bruce.

‘It’s tough not to have secrets. … I’ve pushed the her side off all my life. I can’t die and not experience her.’

Khloe Kardashian, who became Jenner’s stepdaughter when she was four years old, was the most vocal and visibly upset over Jenner’s lack of communication.

‘You don’t need our permission but you do need to tell us,’ she said. ‘I don’t think that it’s fair that you don’t tell us how close this is in the near future. We’re still your kids. I don’t care how old I am. Don’t you think we’re scared?’

There were many tears shed during the show by all involved.

Kris Jenner weighed in on the impact on the family: ‘I imagine Bruce is so relieved to have told us this that he might not understand the full effect.’

The family was unaware of Jenner’s plans to be interviewed by Diane Sawyer for ABC News until he casually mentioned it two weeks before it was to take place.

Kris Jenner ‘cries all the time’ according to daughter Kim.

‘You think you’re going to grow old with somebody – it’s like I have to mourn Bruce Jenner,’ the ex-wife said.

‘I want him to be happy (but) I’m not okay. I don’t know how to handle this … this is my life. I committed to this life and I feel like he just checked out.

She added: ‘He’d said he had tendencies but it was not even a discussion that he’d end his life like this.’

Jenner acknowledged his missteps as far as still withholding information at this point in his transition.

‘You can never do this right,’ he said. ‘There’s no right way to do this.’

Jenner shared things in this special that he did not in the Sawyer interview such as why it’s been so important for him to grow his hair long.

‘The hair cuts have been the most traumatic things in life,’ he said. ‘Society says I’ve got to cut my hair because I’m a guy. Does it look better on Bruce? Yes. But it doesn’t look better on my soul.’

Jenner says he’s ‘very certain’ about his transition but added that ‘doing it publicly is extraordinarily difficult.’

The 1976 Olympic Gold Medalist in the decathlon and father of 10 years now believes that going public with his story is ‘my greatest calling in life.’