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Alec Mapa to Russell Tovey: ‘He’s glad he’s not effeminate? Well the feeling is mutual lady, I’m glad I’m not you’
Looking star Russell Tovey is suffering backlash for comments he made about why he is masculine enough to play both gay and straight roles.
The openly gay actor told The Guardian he’s grateful his father didn’t allow him to attend theater school because ‘I feel like I could have been really effeminate, if I hadn’t gone to the school I went to. … where I felt like I had to toughen up.
‘If I’d have been able to relax, prance around, sing in the street, I might be a different person now. I thank my dad for that, for not allowing me to go down that path.’
Out actor Alec Mapa, best known for his roles on TV’s Ugly Betty, Desperate Housewives, Switched at Birth and Half & Half, schooled Tovey in a response he posted on social media Monday.
‘He’s glad he’s not effeminate? Well the feeling is mutual lady, I’m glad I’m not you,’ Mapa wrote.
Mapa’s big break came when he replaced BD Wong as the lead in Broadway’s M Butterfly and he describes himself as a ‘professional effeminate homosexual for nearly 50 years.’
He writes: ‘Being an effeminate gay man still remains an unforgivable sin in our masculinity obsessed culture. I think about all the young sissy boys who return from school after being bullied and shamed day after day, perhaps returning home to the same treatment.
‘I know because I was one of those kids. Was? I still am! I still get it in the neck for being who I am.’
Mapa points out that he’s met so many non gender conforming youth who have the same recognizable look of despair on their faces that he had.
‘All they need to hear is that they’re fine exactly the way they are. That there’s nothing wrong. That they haven’t killed anyone . That they’re worthy of love and acceptance , AS IS.
‘I’m in no way outraged by this. I’ve been hearing this since day I could mince. It’s just disappointing . We experience so much discrimination from the outside world, wouldn’t it be great if we were kinder to each other in our own community?
‘There are a billion reasons to feel actual shame and remorse. Being your authentic, fabulous, faggy self shouldn’t be one of them.’
Mapa is next set to appear in several episodes of the Lifetime series Devious Maids.
Comments
(All comments are reviewed before being published, and I review submissions several times per day.)
Bruce Wayne says:
Sorry, Miss Mapa…
But who cares what You think about what Russell says or feels about Himself?! He’s not denying Your right to be an embarrassing, prissy thing! He is just stating what works for Him! Unclutch your pearls, now.
^^X^^
Paul says:
I agree with Russell. The fems and flamers give ALL gay men a bad image, they are responsible for much of the stereotypes heaped upon us by straights.
K. Martinez says:
This is Russell Tovey? The dude sounds like a bore.
Sam says:
No matter what…Russell (still) rocks!
Joe says:
Some people need to get over themselves. I certainly didn’t take offence at what Tovey said and I’m not holding it against him.
And, I’m sorry but if I’m being honest I’ve never heard of Mapa.
Lexxvs says:
I guess that being an actor Tovey is referring to the job opportunities that open for those who can keep the usual cultural mannerism assigned for his gender. The other way around (being gay with mannerism culturally considered common for women) it would’ve been harder to land certain roles, as it breaks the “make believe” momentary “contract” the audience has with the character. If he felt that guilty about the social view I guess he would keep his sexuality private as many actors STILL do, even in the current times.
The response of Mapa is the typical we, who are in the gay community, have seen in these scenarios: overreaction that tries to pay with the same wrong bill. Treating Tovey as “lady” is intended to offend with the same ammunition he denies; if being effeminate is not offensive why is he trying to offend Tovey with such tag, given that he doesn’t identify/conforms with a feminine mannerism? If your “being happy to be you” comes with the derision of others, then you are not in a good place and you are not that happy as you trumpet, and that is for Mapa and Tovey as well if that was his intention.
There is nothing wrong with having non usual culturally assigned mannerism; there is nothing wrong with being gay/lesbian and having the USUAL culturally assigned mannerism either. Don’t enforce intolerance with the wrong guns.
Chip says:
Some of the comments here are surprisingly bitter.
I will state up front that effeminate guys make me uncomfortable. I’m working on that, but that is MY issue.
That said, have you uptight queens above realized that the ones getting us our rights in the early days were those very flamboyant types that either can’t or won’t hide who they are? They had no choice in the matter in many cases. They were who they were and couldn’t hide it. THEY are the ones that got the ball rolling so the rest of us that can blend in got the rights we wanted. We were able to move in and out of the closet as needed. They were out and about with no choice. So please, tone down the judgement.
K. Martinez says:
Paul – Being a mostly (not overtly) masculine gay man myself, I fail to see how “fems” and “flamers” give ALL gay men a bad image? Stereotypes will always exist in some form. I’d think one would feel secure enough with their own sexual/gender identity that stuff like that wouldn’t bother them. And for the record there are lots of gay role models who are masculine if that’s what you’re looking for. They’re out there.
Richard V says:
I with Russell, as far as acting jobs go. I was given the same advice by my parent to act the part to stop getting beat up. I also was one to look down my nose at effeminate guys. I’ve since learn I hope to accept. Bottom line is that we all have and / or will stand up for one another. Let’s not go making little ripples into big waves.
Mort says:
From one who’s such a flame he leaves vapors where he walks to another, I’m your new biggest fan, Alec.