Pro golfer Tadd Fujikawa: “Many gays are femme-phobic when it comes to dating and sex”
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I'm so proud to be a part of THE LGBTQ community and to see the progress we've made. But at times there are some things I dislike a lot. Speaking through my experiences, there is so much prejudice within the gay community. Simply put, it is extremely toxic. I can't speak for the other parts of the LGBTQ community, but I'm sure they have the same types of discrimination (possibly worse). There are many issues that I think we need to address. But I really want to bring awareness to gender binaries and femme-phobia. Many gays are femme-phobic when it comes to dating and sex. We hear and see it too often…"I'm into a guy who is a guy…not a girl.", "I'm only into masculine guys." Admittedly, when first exploring my sexuality, I was more attracted to masculinity. I was immature and I wasn't educated. I really didn't understand what everything meant. You are whatever you identify as. Don't let anyone tell you different. No matter if people think you're too feminine, it doesn't make you any less. Conforming to a certain gender binary is perfectly fine. But I hope no one ever feels the need to change so they fit a certain criteria or so they will be liked. What we identify as masculinity and femininity is both beautiful to me. I've grown and learned that those labels do not define someone's identity. And a lot of times, embracing both of those traits are very self empowering and powerful. The confidence, strength, and courage to be true to who they are is not only inspiring to me…but extremely attractive as well. I understand that we have preferences and it's okay to have them. But we need to be aware of the way we express it. It can be very hurtful and toxic. We need to be more conscious of what we are saying and the actions we take within our own community. If we open our minds, we may be able to move past these labels. Realizing that those differences can be edifying, both for ourselves and our community. Some of you may never find "femininity" attractive…but we must be gentle with each other. And to be honest….it's your loss. They and those men that you classify as "too fem", are some of the most beautiful souls!????
(All comments are reviewed before being published, and I review submissions several times per day.)
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