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Not even running into Alexander Skarsgard could salvage Drew Droege’s comically bad morning

I spotted this on Drew Droege’s Facebook feed this morning and was howling with laughter. Got his permission to share it with you all:

Nothing like waking up to your smoke alarm alternately cooing in sharp violent timbre LOW BATTERY! FIRE! CARBON MONOXIDE! Then trying to figure out how to open the screaming box of morning hatred that decides to dump dirt onto your face and refuses to let you in. Finally you dig out the 9V battery losing fingernails and dignity as you realize you’re completely naked and standing on a chair and your neighbors have their windows open and are in full view of your junk. Then you put on whatever horrible fuck-you fashion choices you can find on your floor, refusing to look cute for this dark moment in history. You run outside into God’s gravy bowl of heat and run into someone you know and in typical LA small talk awkwardness just limply asks when you’re performing next. You want to bark “OH GOD! YOU DON’T CARE!! Yeah, I stepped into this hot shit day to busk my wig pageants! What’s wrong with you? Please be a person!!” But instead you say “come to the Golden Girls!” Then you trudge down to Gelson’s to get a $73 battery and stand in line behind another person who you know. You’re dripping in fresh sweat and facial crust but make an effort and just groan “Hi, how are you?” The person just smiles and looks away. Ugh! The nerve! Then you realize you don’t actually know the person but it’s Alexander Skarsgard. Good morning.

Drew is one of the hardest working men in showbiz. A movie version of Drew’s hit Off-Broadway play Bright Colors and Bold Patterns will premiere at Outfest on July 18 (tickets HERE). Drew also returns to Cavern Club Theatre August 10-19 as Rose Nylund in the brilliant Golden Girlz Live (Tickets HERE).

FILE UNDER: Out Stars

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