My 2006 interview with Billy Bean: “You can live a life that is complete and full in an honest and open way”

From 2006-2009, I did a blog for the Los Angeles Daily News called Out in Hollywood. During the blog’s early days, I did several interviews with former Major League Baseball player Billy Bean who came out publicly three years after early retirement. Billy died today the the age of 60. Here is that interview:

Chatted with former major league baseball player Billy Bean on Tuesday from his home in Miami for a future freelance piece and decided to talk to this former San Diego Padres and Los Angeles Dodgers player about National Coming Out Day.

Billy was never out during his playing days and it caused him a lot of heartache, including forcing himself to play in a Padres game the day his first true love died.Now 42, he went through a lot of the stuff some guys of our generation did: married a woman and tried to live life as a straight man. But it was short-lived and he took a series of steps that have led to him being the authentic and articulate gay man that he is today. But he felt he had to quit the major leagues while still his prime to have an open life (he’s been with partner Efrain Veiga for 11 years).

He came out in an interview with the Miami Herald then in a heartbreaking interview with Diane Sawyer on television. I remember it well: riding the stationary bike at a Gold’s Gym in Long Beach and literally sobbing at one point. It was so raw, so honest. Billy wrote an honest memoir about his life in the closet and on the baseball field called “Going My Own Way” which is set to be made into a Lifetime movie to air sometime next year. I’ve met Billy several times over the last four years at various events and he is really someone who I feel glad is on my team.

Here are the highlights of our chat:

On National Coming Out Day, which he makes clear is more of an opportunity for out people to celebrate their collective experience rather than being a day where people feel they have to come out:
“For the most part I’d say 100 percent of the experiences people have shared with me, they always say their lives greatly improved once they did it. None of us start in the same place and time. It’s showing people that you can live a life that is complete and full in an honest and open way.”

On his own coming out:
“It was just really empowering…When I was in a position emotionally to make it happen, .the relief of living honestly and being able to give my family and friends and people who care about me the opportunity to know me completely, I just became so much closer to them.”

On gays and lesbians coming out younger these days:
“I think kids at this generation are light years ahead of where we were. They are so much more aware because of the Internet and blogs. We had to interact face to face which kept us from doing that. They are so much more progressive in so many ways.”

On playing in tennis tournaments now, including at last summers OIut Games in Chicago:
“it saved my soul from leaving basebsall before my time,. it has let me let go of whatever regrets I had from walking away from the game. Just to feel the nervousness, to compete and to feel pressure.”

On professional athletes being out:
“We just have to embrace the few images that we have and keep building positive images to create a more diverse group of people. As their lives allow it, it will just keep happening. Slowly, but it will.”

Earlier this year, Billy was part of an all-gay panel for an entire season of the game show “I’ve Got a Secret” which aired on the GSN Network. He is now helping to write the script for the movie about his life, does corporate speeches across the country and is a partner in a Miami real estate company.

“I’m a very busy boy,” he says.