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Kyan Douglas posts ‘gentle rant’ to Facebook friends about his looks: ‘How I present myself is my call’
I gotta say, this is one of my favorite things on social media today.
We all know Kyan Douglas, right? He was the grooming guy on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy who has appeared on The Rachael Ray Show forever and is now also hosting the online series The American Barber.
Well, Kyan has laid down the law to his Facebook followers that I found so amazing and so honest that I had to share it because I think it will make people think twice before they critique anyone’s appearance on social media.
Gentle rant alert: people, with some regularity, contact me here or comment about my weight- don’t lose too much, don’t gain too much, about my hair- wear it this way, not that way, my beard- shave it, trim it, grow it, my smile-smile more, take more shirtless selfies, etc etc. Don’t. What you’re doing amounts to a subtle form of image shaming. Knock it off. Love me, or not, the way I am. How I present myself is my call. You do you. The only person that could get away with telling me how to look or be is my mother and she’s dead. Nothing but love intended but we need to check ourselves my gay brethren. Hope you can receive this in the spirit it is intended- straightforward and kindly.
Comments
(All comments are reviewed before being published, and I review submissions several times per day.)
Robert Kabwe says:
I’m glad he feels this way, and said something about it (so diplomatically too:). I don’t think there is anything positive to be gained by shaming each other about how we look. Nothing. Better to spend our time lifting each other up.
Neil Settle says:
I am glad that with maturity, his take on the importance of being perfectly groomed and immaculately dressed has mellowed. It’s always a good thing to keep one’s vanity in check. It’s also good to take the attitude of “accept me as I am”. It’s great to see anyone become secure enough in themselves to be able to say that. Years ago, however, he was all about the importance of appearance, at least in grooming. I will grant that I can’t recall hearing anything about body shaming during the original version of “Queer Eye”. It could be argued, in my opinion, that he and his cohorts were part of a trend that has grown from grooming and fashion to the current social media trend that has gay men feeling self conscious about their bodies. He, perhaps, should use his voice to promote body diversity. As a man about to enter his 50s in an ageist, looksist society (a society not invented by the gay community, but traits that seem somehow magnified within our community) I wonder how he intends to cope with aging? Will he eat, exercise and moisturize for health, or for vanity? Will he limit his routine to those measures? Or, will he color his grey hair, have a nip and tuck when he deems it necessary and go in for cool sculpting and try desperately to stave off the appearance of aging? I think that, if he’s serious about being secure, he will take the former route and let nature take its course.