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‘Heroes’ alum Thomas Dekker officially comes out as gay – and newly married – in Instagram post

I was in the audience at Outfest last week when honoree Bryan Fuller mentioned an actor on NBC’s Heroes who didn’t want to play gay then ended up being gay. It turns out that actor, Thomas Dekker, had never come out publicly. Well, now he has in an Instagram post. Congratulations to him.
You can read the post below.

My sexual orientation once again came into question this week when a prominent gay man used an awards acceptance speech to "out" me. While he did not mention me by name, the explicit details of his reference made it easy for the public and media to connect the dots. While it is an odd situation, I thank him because it presents a prime opportunity for me to publicly say that I am indeed a man who proudly loves other men. In fact, this April, I married my husband and I could not be happier. I have never lied to the press about the fluidity of my sexuality but this man claiming that I came out is not true. Because I have not "officially" until this moment. I simply refuse to be robbed of the glorious joy that belongs to me. To say the words myself. "I'm gay". Those words are a badge of honor that no one can steal. Sexuality and who you love is a deeply personal and complicated thing. For some of us, it takes time to cultivate, discover and conclude. It is not something anyone should ever be ashamed of and certainly not something anyone should be rushed into. I agree with many who believe it is an important responsibility for LGBTQ persons with a platform to come out. It has the power to change minds, challenge beliefs and make others feel understood and supported. It can strengthen the progression of our community and help disarm those who discriminate against us. It is a brave, powerful and important thing to do but it is also a deeply personal decision. One that should only be made when you are ready. If we are to stand strong in the gay community, our mission should be support, not exclusion; love, not shame. I choose not to look back on the past with a regretful heart but rather focus on the future with a hopeful one. A future where myself and all others can feel free to express their true selves with honor and dignity. I embrace you, any of you, with open arms, kindness, faith and patience. For all of you who have supported me, before and now, I thank you from the bottom of my fledgling heart. Be proud of who you are. No matter how long it takes.

A post shared by Thomas Dekker (@thomas.dekker) on

FILE UNDER: Coming Out


(All comments are reviewed before being published, and I review submissions several times per day.)

7 Remarks

  1. Bravo Thomas Dekker for his owning his truth and his marriage. On the other hand, despite the inappropriately anonymous outing this motivated Dekker’s public announcement. This is a similar correlation to recent media exposed emails that forced Trump Jr. to admit his pre-disposed culpability with the Russian collusion.

  2. Maybe it’s just me, but Dekker’s statement comes across as a whiny complaint and not as a proud statement of fact.

  3. I always liked Thomas and sort of knew he was gay. But it’s great that he’s out and married. I wish him and his husband only the best.

  4. Is it just me, or does he seem to be ACCUSING Bryan Fuller of outing him in a speech given last week? My question is how can Bryan have outed him last week when it was public record as of April that he was married to a man?!?! Am I missing something here?

  5. Congratulations and welcome to the family, I think. This post was so well written, damn I wish I could write like that

  6. July 15th, 2017 at 3:18 pm
    K. Martinez says:

    Good for Thomas Dekker. I love what he wrote.

    It’s not a whiny complaint. He’s simply stating that coming out is his to own and doesn’t belong to someone else. It’s like stealing someone’s moment if you out them. It’s a personal decision and journey that each and everyone of us must make ourselves of when and where to come out.

  7. Jay, I agree completely!

    He sounds bitter and whiny. He was already out. Just because he felt it was an outing in that speech doesn’t mean it really was.

    Makes me think about the Golden Girls to bring up something familiar to many of Greg’s readers. Remember when Blanche’s sister wrote a book and Blanche became positively unglued at the revelations? Each page left her angry than the one before.

    Turns out it wasn’t about Blanche at all.

    Often we think news that seems like us, even if it is, is instantly identifiable and that everyone around us will feel the same way. This is a good lesson of finding it best to keep your mouth shut if you don’t want to go public. Doubtful there’d have been any more about it. Especially since marriages are public records and he surely has friends and family that know.

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